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boundaries

Less labels more talking

August 26, 2019 by d20domme

As humans we have an innate obsession with placing labels on everything, including ourselves. Labels help give people a false sense of order and a way to separate things. However, we aren’t things; we’re people first and heavily using labels to categorize people isn’t fair. It takes away the depth and complexity each of us … [Read more…]

Posted in: Community, Thoughts Tagged: bdsm, boundaries, communication, community, interpersonal, labels, nlp, opinion, respect, self awareness, social, thoughts, words

I assaulted someone I love

June 1, 2018 by d20domme

My puppy is back and it’s been an adjustment for us both. I couldn’t help but chuckle softly as I was watched him express genuine over-the-top anger at the video game he was currently playing as he cursed and threw down the controller. It made me laugh until I caught myself mid thought, ‘He needs … [Read more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal, Relationships, Thoughts Tagged: 24/7, aggression, anger, apologies, arguments, boundaries, challenges, communication, consent, domestic violence, female led relationship, self awareness, thinking, violation

Give em’ the finger

June 9, 2012 by d20domme

Some guys like a finger in the ass…some don’t. I’ve learned over the years never and I mean NEVER assume…it makes an ass…well never mind that pun is too easy. But seriously, sometimes girls want to put things (mostly a finger or three) in a guy’s ass. Is it just me or are men generally … [Read more…]

Posted in: Community Tagged: acceptance, anal sex, assplay, bdsm, boundaries, female domination, prejudice, sexuality, tips

Flirting: A fine art

July 27, 2011 by d20domme

I’ve often said that I believe flirting should be treated as a fine art. It is not something one can wander into with no experience, no clear objective, and certainly no quips on hand. For me when I am flirted with it either goes into one of two categories: 1) Nice try bum. Next! or … [Read more…]

Posted in: Community, Contributions Tagged: advice, assertive, boundaries, community, empowerment, flirting, how to, interpersonal, tips

Getting to know you

October 19, 2010 by d20domme

With a little under two weeks left for my sub-hunt things have started to pick up a bit. I am definitely interacting with more submissives on and offline than ever before. Is it wrong to feel fucking womanly knowing I am chatting with at least seven twelve fourteen different potentials? All this exploration now has … [Read more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal, Relationships Tagged: affection, boundaries, dating, friends, nurse sub, objectification, play, questions, thinking, vanilla

Don’t worry I’m the Captain of a motorboat

April 30, 2010 by d20domme

Earlier this week I attended a local BDSM munch with the sweet sub. Last minute plans entailed my inviting a close friend of mine as well and we were off.  Upon arriving, the sweet sub was as handsome as usual and dressed as a mild mannered frat boy (how can someone look so innocent but … [Read more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal Tagged: bdsm, boundaries, cougars, decisions, drinking, female domination, funny, men, submissives, sweet sub

Side-blinded

November 3, 2009 by d20domme

For inquiring minds: Did the new bf meet the goal of 26 orgasms in 26 days? The simple answer is “No”. On top of that we didn’t even see each other last week. Last night was the first night we’ve seen each other since last Monday and I when I got to his place the … [Read more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal, Relationships Tagged: bdsm, boundaries, decisions, failure, heartbroken, life, relationship, sad, unhappy

Rant: Once you go black…

September 25, 2009 by d20domme

There is a phenomenon that I have noticed within the BDSM community that I cannot stay quiet about any longer. It’s something that makes me stick out like a sore thumb at events, on websites, and even among fellow kinksters. Being black. I’ve noticed that I rarely come across black Dommes and even rarer are … [Read more…]

Posted in: Rants, Thoughts Tagged: acceptance, bdsm, boundaries, ideas, prejudice, questions, race, rant, stigma

In _____ we trust

September 23, 2009 by d20domme

KneelingBeggingSpankingBeing lead on a collar and leashFoot worshipAnal trainingAll of these things require a certain level of trust. As many of you may (or may not) remember the trust lines between my new bf (who is also the last slave) are few and far. We each have our reasons for feeling the way that we … [Read more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal, Relationships Tagged: bdsm, boundaries, emotions, female domination, forgiveness, questions, relationships, thinking
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