I’ve been a spanko since, well, forever! This is one of the few fetishes I enjoy giving and receiving. So it’s no surprise that incorporating impact play as an “initiation ritual” for someone new I play. I consider it is a first step to serivin. Why do I like impact play with new play partners? … [Tell me more…]
I share a lot of the positives of My lifestyle but it’s not always an easy lifestyle. Being a Femdom is an exercise in power, control, and the careful orchestration of a dynamic that feeds everyone involved. But let Me be real for a moment—it’s also an exercise in patience. And when you’re a Dominant … [Tell me more…]
For years, My work in the BDSM lifestyle has been centered on education, community-building, and radically honest dialogue. I’ve poured My energy into kink events, discussions, workshops, and classes across the globe that help other kinksters explore BDSM in safe, informed, and consensual ways. But now, I’m making the difficult decision to step back from … [Tell me more…]
I want to take this Black History Month to talk about the intersection of dominance, race, and BDSM relationships, which is a profound and deeply personal topic for Me. As a dominant Black woman in alternative relationships with two white cishet presenting male submissives, this 20 year journey has been as rewarding as it has … [Tell me more…]
With nearly 20 years of helping the kink community under My belt, I felt the need to speak up last week. In the first part of My blog into kink volunteerism, I examined the noble intentions behind volunteering and its potential to create positive change in communities. I also broke down the darker side of … [Tell me more…]
At the start of 2024, I set out to tick off 40 items as I turned 40. How many kinky items did I get to? Just ONE. I’m going to ignore all the things My recovering perfectionist of a brain is saying, and simply say I am disappointed. I thought I had a great plan … [Tell me more…]
Breaking up in a BDSM power exchange dynamic can be particularly challenging due to the unique emotional, psychological, and structural elements of the relationship. These breakups often feel more difficult for all involved. This is noticeable as part of what makes these relationships so special, is the depths and expansiveness of where they reach. Power … [Tell me more…]
Navigating BDSM social and, in my case, a professional space often requires interaction with a wide range of people, groups, and organizations. From event hosts, to start-up kinky ventures and community acquaintances to people you may not particularly like, the world is full of diverse personalities. However, the notion that being polite and maintaining a … [Tell me more…]
It’s that time of year again… It’s LOCK-FRIGGIN-TOBER!! *clears throat* Apologies. As you all may know, I am obsessed with a chastity play. I am a bit fanatical with chastity play. 95% of the partners I’ve played with and had serve Me over the years, were required to enforced chastity in some way or another. … [Tell me more…]