I’ve been a spanko since, well, forever! This is one of the few fetishes I enjoy giving and receiving. So it’s no surprise that I incorporate impact play as an “initiation ritual” for someone new I play. I consider it is a first step to serving Me. Why do I like impact play with new … [Tell me more…]
I want to take this Black History Month to talk about the intersection of dominance, race, and BDSM relationships, which is a profound and deeply personal topic for Me. As a dominant Black woman in alternative relationships with two white cishet presenting male submissives, this 20 year journey has been as rewarding as it has … [Tell me more…]
It’s that time of year again… It’s LOCK-FRIGGIN-TOBER!! *clears throat* Apologies. As you all may know, I am obsessed with a chastity play. I am a bit fanatical with chastity play. 95% of the partners I’ve played with and had serve Me over the years, were required to enforced chastity in some way or another. … [Tell me more…]
Just like clockwork, every few months for the last decade or so, I’ll receive a message or comment like the one I was confronted with in person recently. It was disgust disguised as concern. I’ve seen it before…. I can’t believe someone like you still uses the word ‘sissy.’ The history of ‘sissy’ When I … [Tell me more…]
“I access my ‘Alpha’ pet side’ when needed during a scene,” I said to the class and their collective eyes widened in surprise. “So as a pet you are a Domme? Like issuing commands and such?” one submissive male asked with hesitation. “Yes depends on how we’re playing. I don’t always use words during that … [Tell me more…]
Topping from the bottom. Bratting from the bottom. Topping from below. Sub-sparring. I’ve heard it called many things. This discussion bores me but I think it’s crucial to identify the flaws within it. In my opinion, this phrase is possibly one of the most misunderstood in the entire BDSM lexicon and a useless phrase that … [Tell me more…]
“Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket, from Mistress d20domme! I spank you warmly on the bottom! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many wonderful surprises await you!“ If you’re American, you are no doubt familiar with the tale of Roald Dahl’s 1964 novel ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory‘. Willy Wonka, the founder of … [Tell me more…]
When you think about BDSM and the aspect of service, I bet one of the first things that come to your mind is about willpower. How can a submissive endure that?Why do they agree to this over and over?What can they be telling themselves to push through?When will they give up?Where do they summon the … [Tell me more…]
Keep your standards too high I’ve been told on more than one occasion… ‘Wow you have really high standards.’ or ‘Maybe your standards are too high.’ The thing is, I don’t believe in having “too high standards”. I believe in unrealistic standards – they can be high, low, or just shit. Over the years in … [Tell me more…]