It’s that time of year again…
It’s LOCK-FRIGGIN-TOBER!!
*clears throat*
Apologies. As you all may know, I am obsessed with a chastity play. I am a bit fanatical with chastity play. 95% of the partners I’ve played with and had serve Me over the years, were required to enforced chastity in some way or another. So factor that into your odds before approaching Me for serving. I also have written about the topic quite a few times over the years; from its history, to the in depth benefits.
People enjoy chastity play for various reasons
Foremost, the excitement of relinquishing control and the heightened sense of anticipation it creates. The psychological aspect of submission and denial often amplifies arousal, building mental and emotional intensity. For some, the experience is empowering, as it tests their willpower and discipline. My favorite ways to push the edges of physical boundaries!
Others find satisfaction in the dynamics of power exchange, deepening the connection between partners.
As an experienced Keyholder
I directly experience and get kink-punch-drunk off a sense of control, power, and trust. The chastity dynamic allows Me to dictate when, or if, My locked toy is allowed release, thus creating a deep bond of mutual consent and vulnerability. For some, it enhances intimacy and communication as the Keyholder navigates the needs and boundaries of consensual locked slut. It can also be sexually exciting, as we both usually enjoy the psychological aspects of Dominance and teasing. My role as a Keyholder is central to the experience, fostering fetish exploration, connection, mutual gratification and heightened anticipation.
Locktober specifically adds a communal element, where participants can share their experiences and engage in a larger kink culture celebration – this year I am happy to share a personal record for Me.
I will be holding 50 keys, a mix of virtual and in-person chastity goobers have entrusted themselves to My pervy, Domineering whims. Oh what fun we are going to have!
Chastity safety is paramount when entering into this popular kink
Before you go diving in lock first, take a beat. Whether as a Keyholder, or chastity wearer, you must learn dangers to watch out for, what pain is acceptable, and which is a health concern. Plus, you must know general chastity safety, like rules and how to have comfortable experience. Let Me as an elder Keyholder share some chastity safety tips about how to be chaste and comfy.
Here’s d20domme’s Top 10 Chastity Safety Tips
All of these have been tested firsthand by Myself and the many lucky chaste treasures I’ve had over the years. Let’s make your Locktober (or any chastity) experience the best it can be!
1. Size matters! Have you measured for a good fit? Measure again! If you’re looking for a custom cage, you want to be as precise as possible. This is a helpful guide for measuring your outie bits or this guide for innie bits.
Your chastity device needs to fit just as nicely as a custom piece of clothing should. Overly tight? Too loose? Both of these will be quite uncomfortable to wear beyond a testing wear. This could also cause an injury. The best option is a chastity device that fits snugly and doesn’t cause unnecessary discomfort.
2. You are Chastity Cinderella. Be open to testing different chastity styles and materials. There’s all types, partially open, completely hidden, steel, silicone, and more.
Silicone devices are fairly flexible which lends to be very comfortable, especially for beginners. Despite being hypoallergenic, you still should clean these with a keen eye since it’s a porous material. Due to the wide availability these devices means there’s a range of colors and designs for your personal preference.
Metal devices are durable, sleek, weighty, more constricting (due to material), temperature conductibility for sensory play, and known for their hygienic material which is easier to clean.
Resin devices are a mix of the two previous materials. The unobtrusive weight of resin allows for flexibility and longer wear time. But much like silicone’s porosity, you’ll want to clean these rigorously.
Opt for ergonomic base ring designs. Many knockoff resin and plastic cages have a stress point that will break after wearing it for a while. When this happens, the jagged edges can scrape and cut the glans, or head. This can cause swelling that makes the little fella look like a sausage that’s been over stuffed at one end. It itches and burns and hurts like hell…you can’t pee straight.
Pretend you are Goli-locks and you’re looking for something that’s ‘just right’ – don’t give up if the first, second, or even sixth device doesn’t fit perfectly.
3. Know how to put on a chastity device – try the stocking hack for penis insertion. Just clip the end off a pair of traditional women’s stockings (or a very thin pair of socks, I suppose) and place the stocking over the penis. Pull the stocking through the opening at the top of the cage as pictured below. There’s a video of the stocking method here.
4. Use water-based lube or baby oil when slipping on your chastity cage. These absorb into the skin. Avoid using oil or silicone-based lubes – they don’t absorb into the skin. Instead they sit on the surface, creating an ideal area for dirt, lint, and more to stick to you.
Using lube when you are new can make putting your cage on a lot easier. Make sure you don’t put on too much, as you don’t want your hands and the cage to be too slippery. Experiment with different types of lube to find out which one you prefer using the most.
I’ve heard good things about the new product from KINK3D called ‘Cage Cream’ that promises it was created to optimize for softness, longevity, and comfort around the ring. We’ve ordered the unscented one for this Locktober so stay tuned for My opinion.
5. New to cages? Please start slow. Lock up for a few hours at first at different times of the day (not all in one day) as our bodies can adjust differently depending on many factors such as activities (driving, exercising, etc). After you feel confident in your device for a few hours, you can cautiously increase to larger time slots (half days), then to full days (weekends?), and beyond. Learn your particular cage and its parts inside and out at this time.
The idea here is to not stress yourself out by trying to force yourself into cage time when it’s uncomfortable or before your body is ready. Be prepared for nighttime nuances to wake you up in the beginning. Try to get up, use the restroom, walk around, etc. and then go back to sleep if possible. The best way to acclimate to this is practice.
6. Keep the device clean and dry! Daily cleaning while showering is the best way to avoid undesirable effects such as smell, rashes, and minor to serious infections. Handheld shower heads are great for this and tub soaking helps with “tight” feelings. Wearing chastity “permanently”? Unless you have a custom cage designed for 24/7 no-escape wear, deep clean the cage device a minimum of once a week.
An antimicrobial product like Hibiclens removes the inevitable bodily grime and prevents bacteria from thriving in a moist, dark, space. We use a squeeze bottle with a long tip for cage cleaning – I recommend this medical syringe.
Don’t forget, if you can, a hair blower on low/cool will speed up the process to keep your cage dry. This includes sitting down to pee to allow it to drip longer – so your cage and junk stay clean and dry.
7. Speaking of cleanliness…closely trim or shave those short and curlies! How short? Depends if you want them gone, what your pain threshold is, whether pain is a “good” thing for you and so on. Waxing lasts longer and gives a smoother result but many people find the pain unbearable (or totally hot!). Plus the hair needs to grow back to a certain length before you can wax it again so for 3-4 weeks out of every six (give or take) you may look a bit messy.
Shaving has to be done more frequently, daily even, and it can take a while before your skin adapts to handle it. Some people will get a shaving rash at first if done too frequently and may also find the regrowth to be unbearably itchy but I think most people will adapt in due course depending on skin type, tolerance etc.
Besides the obvious ‘ouchie’ factore of getting caught in the device, it’ll make your junk “appear” bigger haha and some research shows that people who shave their pubes report greater sensation during play. Get some quick trimming tips here.
8. Swabs can be used in chastity play for hygiene purposes. Cotton swabs are great for quick clean-ups through holes and slits. Since chastity devices often cover or restrict access to intimate areas, regular cleaning becomes difficult. Using swabs, especially sterile or alcohol swabs, helps clean hard-to-reach areas beneath or around the device to prevent infections or skin irritation.
Swabs can also be used to apply soothing ointments or antibacterial solutions to ensure cleanliness and comfort while the device is worn for extended periods. Swirling swabs around the opening hole can help mitigate cleanliness. Again, maintaining hygiene in this way is essential for safe and healthy chastity play.
9. A spare key is NOT optional. Keeping a spare key during chastity play is mandatory/essential for safety and practicality. In case of emergencies, discomfort, or unexpected situations, having a backup key ensures that the device can be removed quickly and safely. It also prevents any panic or health risks that could arise from being unable to unlock the device in critical moments.
The spare key serves as a responsible way to engage in the experience while prioritizing well-being and trust between Keyholder and locked participant.
In my experience, even if you arrive at the ER wearing a chastity device, the hospital staff will prioritize your medical needs and safety. Depending on the situation, they may need to remove the device, particularly if it interferes with necessary medical care or poses a health risk. Medical professionals are trained to handle such situations discreetly and with respect for patient privacy. In some cases, they may use tools to remove the device if no key is available, ensuring your health and safety come first.
You thought chastity was a doozy? Don’t add a powered medical circular hand saw to the mix!
Solo locking? Use a timer lock or a lock box with a timer (to hold your key) during self-imposed chastity.
10. Watch out for a reduction or loss of blood flow. Remember I mentioned getting the correct size? A chastity cage that is too tight will restrict blood flow to your penis, and can cause you discomfort and pain while you wear it. Pay attention to how you feel while you are locked up, and be sure to examine your penis for temperature (unusually cool), discoloration (dark purple/blue, deep red) as this is one of the first signs of restricted blood flow.
Take off the cage immediately (!) if this happens as it is dangerous for you to keep using it, review your measurements and purchase a new chastity cage that will fit you properly. Repeated loss of blood flow could cause permanent nerve damage and impede normal functions.
Safety in chastity is crucial to prevent physical and emotional harm. Wearing a device restricts circulation, airflow, and movement, making hygiene, fit, and regular check-ins vital. Without proper safety measures, such as cleaning the device and keeping a spare key for emergencies, users risk infection, skin damage, or severe discomfort. Boundaries and communication are also key, especially in BDSM dynamics, to ensure mutual respect and care.
Although wearing a chastity cage is a pretty simple task, there are still precautions to follow before and after wearing them. Staying mindful of safety ensures that chastity play remains enjoyable and consensual, while minimizing risks. After My experiences holding over 180 keys, I am proud to say I’ve only had one safety scare, and it was due to an sneaky attempt to escape while locked…
So, please stay locked once you’re in, for safety of course….*wink*
Did you miss signing up for My Annual Locktober Chastity Challenge? That’s okay, you can still enjoy the fun by subscribing to My Patreon for the month. Chastity curious and lovers won’t be disappointed!