From Mundane to Mistress

Redefining Routine, Reclaiming My Throne.

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relationships

Rant: Patriarchy + Kink

July 5, 2025 by d20domme

The title of this blog was always My dream…trading the house chores I had been expected to do in vanilla relationships, for something more exciting and less heteronormative. But now, I need to get something off my chest, and it’s going to sting for some of you reading this. After fifteen years in the lifestyle … [Tell me more…]

Posted in: Rants Tagged: D/s, domestic servitude, female domination, female led relationship, FemDom, male submission, patriarchy, relationships

Inner child in the outer world

June 5, 2025 by d20domme

For years, I thought My need to be in control in BDSM was purely about preference and personality. I have always been strong-willed and not quiet about My feelings (unsurprisingly!). It wasn’t until I started therapy in My early 20’s that I realized how much My childhood shaped this dynamic. Growing up in a emotionally … [Tell me more…]

Posted in: Relationships Tagged: age play, community, D/s, female domination, FemDom, inner child, relationships, self awareness, thinking

When every command is a reminder

April 5, 2025 by d20domme

I share a lot of the positives of My lifestyle but it’s not always an easy lifestyle. Being a Femdom is an exercise in power, control, and the careful orchestration of a dynamic that feeds everyone involved. But let Me be real for a moment—it’s also an exercise in patience. And when you’re a Dominant … [Tell me more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal Tagged: bdsm, female led relationship, FemDom, lifestyle, neurodivergence, neurodiversity, neurodiversity kink, relationships, thinking

Interracial D/s dynamics

February 5, 2025 by d20domme Leave a Comment

I want to take this Black History Month to talk about the intersection of dominance, race, and BDSM relationships, which is a profound and deeply personal topic for Me. As a dominant Black woman in alternative relationships with two white cishet presenting male submissives, this 20 year journey has been as rewarding as it has … [Tell me more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal Tagged: bdsm, community, D/s, female domination, FemDom, interracial relationships, race, race play, race relations, relationships, submission

The Duality of BDSM Volunteerism Pt. 2

January 15, 2025 by d20domme Leave a Comment

With nearly 20 years of helping the kink community under My belt, I felt the need to speak up last week. In the first part of My blog into kink volunteerism, I examined the noble intentions behind volunteering and its potential to create positive change in communities. I also broke down the darker side of … [Tell me more…]

Posted in: Community Tagged: bdsm, community, FemDom, relationships, Volunteerism

Avoid the ‘A-Hole Way’

December 5, 2024 by d20domme Leave a Comment

Breaking up in a BDSM power exchange dynamic can be particularly challenging due to the unique emotional, psychological, and structural elements of the relationship. These breakups often feel more difficult for all involved. This is noticeable as part of what makes these relationships so special, is the depths and expansiveness of where they reach. Power … [Tell me more…]

Posted in: Community, Thoughts Tagged: bdsm, break-up, community, D/s, female domination, FemDom, manners, relationships, self awareness, thinking

Rant: Naming Power

July 5, 2024 by d20domme

I am be ranting but follow me… Ever since I was a kid, I hated my name. Genuinely distasted being called it. My parents thought it would a great idea to combine their two names (I see you other Black families!). In theory this can work, in practice it usually ends up feeling forced. I … [Tell me more…]

Posted in: Rants Tagged: BDSM community, community, d20domme, FemDom, Names, newbie, relationships, thinking

One long Queer journey

June 5, 2024 by d20domme

Over the years I’ve pondered some important questions… But my latest one has not stopped niggling in the back of my mind… Am I Queer? But what is ‘Queer’ anyway I’ve thought often. Is it a sexual orientation? A gender identity or expression? A community and culture flair? After years of reading, examining, and listening … [Tell me more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal Tagged: community, D/s, female domination, FemDaddy, FemDom, LGBTQIA+, Pride, Pride Month, Queer, relationships, self awareness, self love, thinking

I am my own Primary

April 5, 2024 by d20domme

Hierarchy. Reading the simple noun alone might elicit a physical and automatic reaction. Did it for you? For some people, the hatred for hierarchy runs deep. Despite that, we see hierarchies play out every day in our vanilla lives. Hierarchies often play a part to determine an individual’s or group’s status, privilege, and access to … [Tell me more…]

Posted in: Relationships Tagged: bdsm, D/s, ENM, female domination, FemDom, hierarchy, polyamory, polyandry, relationships
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