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relationships

Debunking ‘topping from the bottom’

June 5, 2023 by d20domme Leave a Comment

Topping from the bottom. Bratting from the bottom. Topping from below. Sub-sparring. I’ve heard it called many things. This discussion bores me but I think it’s crucial to identify the flaws embedded within it. In my opinion, this phrase is possibly one of the most misunderstood in the entire BDSM lexicon and a useless phrase … [Read more…]

Posted in: Thoughts Tagged: bdsm, bottoming, D/s, relationships, submission, thinking, topping, topping from the bottom

Addicted to love: NRC addiction

May 5, 2023 by d20domme

I know a lot of junkies. Not your typical run of the mill junkies that you might be thinking of. No. I’m talking about the kind that are a seemingly common staple in the kinky and/or polyamory community: NRC addicts. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we’re all here for the endorphins. Each and every one … [Read more…]

Posted in: Relationships Tagged: bdsm, Brains, D/s, New Relationship Energy, NRC, NRE, psychology, relationships, thinking

The ‘Golden Ticket’ to submission

March 5, 2023 by d20domme Leave a Comment

“Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket, from Mistress d20domme! I spank you warmly on the bottom! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many wonderful surprises await you!“ If you’re American, you are no doubt familiar with the tale of Roald Dahl’s 1964 novel ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory‘. Willy Wonka, the founder of … [Read more…]

Posted in: Relationships Tagged: bdsm, community, D/s, domination, FemDom, relationships, self awareness, submission

I am a psychological vigilante

February 6, 2023 by d20domme Leave a Comment

I recently heard this term in a vanilla setting, made as a passing ‘scoffing’ comment and it really stuck with me. Let me be honest, it struck a chord with my Femdom loins. Why did it excite me? If I had to describe what a psychological vigilante was and why I embody it, that’s easy. … [Read more…]

Posted in: Femdom, Relationships Tagged: bdsm, D/s, dominantion, FemDom, mental health, relationships

Avoiding Dominant Drain™

January 5, 2023 by d20domme

The new year is upon us and with that usually comes aspects of change – change that we are excited for, but change nonetheless. But…if you’re a self torturing-masochist like myself, it may mean laying the next layer to the foundation of your ideal 24/7 LIFEstyle. For years I have put in the time and … [Read more…]

Posted in: Relationships Tagged: bdsm, communication, D/s, fatigue, relationships, self care

Locktober: The pornography pitfall

October 5, 2022 by d20domme

As a longtime advocate and participant of Locktober as a Keyholder (and self-locked one year, for science!), chastity isn’t new to me. The pros and cons aren’t at all hard to discern. However, when I first became aware of it, I only knew it from a vanilla context to rebuild trust after cheating. The more … [Read more…]

Posted in: Relationships Tagged: chastity, female led relationship, Locktober, male chastity, relationships, sexuality

Keep your standards too high

March 5, 2022 by d20domme

Keep your standards too high I’ve been told on more than one occasion… ‘Wow you have really high standards.’ or ‘Maybe your standards are too high.’ The thing is, I don’t believe in having “too high standards”. I believe in unrealistic standards – they can be high, low, or just shit. Over the years in … [Read more…]

Posted in: Relationships, Thoughts Tagged: D/s, dating, FemDom, love, relationships, self awareness, self love, submission, thinking

Rant: Poly =/= ‘Open for business’

February 7, 2022 by d20domme

Poly people, sit down, *whew*, let’s have a chat. Oh wait, let me dial the ENM participants in as well, they’ll want to hear this. Yes, I know they’re new around here but this is for them too. Everyone here? Great, get comfortable, but not too comfortable, as that seems to be part of the … [Read more…]

Posted in: Community, Rants, Relationships, Thoughts Tagged: community, ENM, ethical non monogamy, FemDom, poly, polyamory, polyandry, rant, relationships, thinking

To live is to change, is to grow

January 5, 2022 by d20domme

It’s a new year and as we all like to pretend it’s time for change. Real change this time, right?Whether you like it or not, it is as Heraclitus said, ‘Nothing is permanent except change.’ It’s inevitable. So why do we hate it so much or fight it when it’s presented to us? Simply put, … [Read more…]

Posted in: Femdom, Personal Journal, Relationships, Thoughts Tagged: bdsm, D/s, female led relationship, FemDom, kink, male submission, polyamory, relationships, slave, thinking
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