For years, My work in the BDSM lifestyle has been centered on education, community-building, and radically honest dialogue. I’ve poured My energy into kink events, discussions, workshops, and classes across the globe that help other kinksters explore BDSM in safe, informed, and consensual ways. But now, I’m making the difficult decision to step back from … [Tell me more…]
With nearly 20 years of helping the kink community under My belt, I felt the need to speak up last week. In the first part of My blog into kink volunteerism, I examined the noble intentions behind volunteering and its potential to create positive change in communities. I also broke down the darker side of … [Tell me more…]
At the start of 2024, I set out to tick off 40 items as I turned 40. How many kinky items did I get to? Just ONE. I’m going to ignore all the things My recovering perfectionist of a brain is saying, and simply say I am disappointed. I thought I had a great plan … [Tell me more…]
Breaking up in a BDSM power exchange dynamic can be particularly challenging due to the unique emotional, psychological, and structural elements of the relationship. These breakups often feel more difficult for all involved. This is noticeable as part of what makes these relationships so special, is the depths and expansiveness of where they reach. Power … [Tell me more…]
Navigating BDSM social and, in my case, a professional space often requires interaction with a wide range of people, groups, and organizations. From event hosts, to start-up kinky ventures and community acquaintances to people you may not particularly like, the world is full of diverse personalities. However, the notion that being polite and maintaining a … [Tell me more…]
It’s that time of year again… It’s LOCK-FRIGGIN-TOBER!! *clears throat* Apologies. As you all may know, I am obsessed with a chastity play. I am a bit fanatical with chastity play. 95% of the partners I’ve played with and had serve Me over the years, were required to enforced chastity in some way or another. … [Tell me more…]
The kink and BDSM community is an effervescent, diverse space where individuals explore their fantasies, desires, and boundaries. I’ve learned after two decades within the community what’s really important. At the heart of this exploration are two fundamental principles: consent and privacy. These principles not only ensure the safety and well-being of participants but also foster … [Tell me more…]
Just like clockwork, every few months for the last decade or so, I’ll receive a message or comment like the one I was confronted with in person recently. It was disgust disguised as concern. I’ve seen it before…. I can’t believe someone like you still uses the word ‘sissy.’ The history of ‘sissy’ When I … [Tell me more…]
Throughout my 15+ years embedded in kinky spaces I have made an observation. There is a distinct overlap between those who identify as neurodiverse and those who are part of the BDSM community. Noticing the patterns of this intersectionality has been even easier, because finally, we as a society, are becoming increasingly aware of neurodiversity, especially … [Tell me more…]