Topping from the bottom. Bratting from the bottom. Topping from below. Sub-sparring. I’ve heard it called many things. This discussion bores me but I think it’s crucial to identify the flaws embedded within it. In my opinion, this phrase is possibly one of the most misunderstood in the entire BDSM lexicon and a useless phrase … [Read more…]
When you think about BDSM and the aspect of service, I bet one of the first things that come to your mind is about willpower. How can a submissive endure that?Why do they agree to this over and over?What can they be telling themselves to push through?When will they give up?Where do they summon the … [Read more…]
Keep your standards too high I’ve been told on more than one occasion… ‘Wow you have really high standards.’ or ‘Maybe your standards are too high.’ The thing is, I don’t believe in having “too high standards”. I believe in unrealistic standards – they can be high, low, or just shit. Over the years in … [Read more…]
Poly people, sit down, *whew*, let’s have a chat. Oh wait, let me dial the ENM participants in as well, they’ll want to hear this. Yes, I know they’re new around here but this is for them too. Everyone here? Great, get comfortable, but not too comfortable, as that seems to be part of the … [Read more…]
It’s a new year and as we all like to pretend it’s time for change. Real change this time, right?Whether you like it or not, it is as Heraclitus said, ‘Nothing is permanent except change.’ It’s inevitable. So why do we hate it so much or fight it when it’s presented to us? Simply put, … [Read more…]
When I make my mind up it’s hard to change. Not impossible but you will have your work cut out for you. With that in mind, when I decided I wanted a submissive in my life, wanted a life of D/s, and decided I was going to give this my all, well, it was and … [Read more…]
Right now is a particularly difficult and tragic time for the black community in the United States of America. The world is watching us fail our black and POC citizens across the board. There’s a message bigger than any kink topics I can offer this month. I am sharing an infographic for those of you … [Read more…]
It was a long way into my kinky journey before I had given the proper amount of thinking to why I have always enjoyed the sight (and very idea!) of boys who like “girly” things. I didn’t grow up in the modern times we now find ourselves in, where gender is fluid, and crosses boundaries … [Read more…]
“Mistress, please just break me down.”“I’ll be anything you want.”“Remind me that I am nothing.” These are all “sexy phrases” I’m assuming submissives have heard or seen in porn or worse? I say assume because for me, phrases like these immediately take me out of my dominant headspace and replaces it with a big “huh?!”. … [Read more…]
