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Will it bend or break?

December 4, 2009 by d20domme

More and more it appears that things are not what they have seemed over the past months. My “boyfriend” and I are hardly spending any time together. He states that he just wants to be alone at home. Then he does just that with a nice 12-pack and his laptop. More often than not when … [Read more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal, Relationships Tagged: break-up, depression, life, love, relationships, sad, therapy, unhappy

Know thyself

November 19, 2009 by d20domme

Life’s been busy and honestly I have been trying to put my gripes on the back burner but it has been hard. In the last entry I received some very thought provoking comments. One in particular from Ferns really caught my attention. She stated: “Another thought… I see that he said he didn’t want ‘BDSM’ … [Read more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal, Relationships Tagged: arguments, bdsm, life, love, questions, relationship, sad, thinking, unhappy

Repression = Aggression?

November 9, 2009 by d20domme

It was 5:30 am and I had just had sex with a stranger for the third time in a week. I say “stranger” in the sense that the sex my bf and I now have feels, well…strange. We have only known each other for the past 7 months in a certain capacity and now that … [Read more…]

Posted in: Thoughts Tagged: aggression, anger, arguments, bdsm, bf, bitchy, orgasm, pouty, repression, sex, thinking, vanilla

Side-blinded

November 3, 2009 by d20domme

For inquiring minds: Did the new bf meet the goal of 26 orgasms in 26 days? The simple answer is “No”. On top of that we didn’t even see each other last week. Last night was the first night we’ve seen each other since last Monday and I when I got to his place the … [Read more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal, Relationships Tagged: bdsm, boundaries, decisions, failure, heartbroken, life, relationship, sad, unhappy

slave Vs. Boyfriend

October 20, 2009 by d20domme

The epic theoretical battle that I’ve been fighting with in my head for a couple of months. If the two were liquids, they’d be oil and water. They are not meshing well. Each has their own pros and their own cons. The Boyfriend: The traditional beau. He’ll woo you until he gets you (or gets … [Read more…]

Posted in: Relationships, Thoughts Tagged: bdsm, bf, female domination, questions, relationships, slave, submission

Your new favorite spot

October 14, 2009 by d20domme

I was sure that taking the birth control again would suppress my ever-constant libido as it did before but luckily there seems to be no sign of that. I was feeling slightly tired last night when we crawled into bed but once I made the new bf strip down that feeling was quickly replaced by … [Read more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal Tagged: bdsm, begging, blowjob, female domination, guidelines, obedience, orgasm, sex, submission, tease and denial

Lucky number…20?

October 9, 2009 by d20domme

The 3 hours of sleep I got last night before a long 12 hour day was well worth it. As we (the new bf and I) slid into bed we were in our usual playful mood. He was whispering sweet nothings into my ear while I scratched my nails up and down his back just … [Read more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal Tagged: agreement, anal sex, bdsm, female domination, male submission, orgasm, submission, tease and denial

Calculated compensation

October 3, 2009 by d20domme

I almost forget how much I enjoy seeing the look on my new bf’s face when we are playing. It’s a heavenly mixture of fear and arousal that gets me wet just thinking about it. We’ve been playing on and off when we see each other at night. One night he begged me to spank … [Read more…]

Posted in: Personal Journal, Relationships Tagged: agreement, bdsm, moving, no limits, relationships, slave, spanking, submission, submit, trust

Rant: Once you go black…

September 25, 2009 by d20domme

There is a phenomenon that I have noticed within the BDSM community that I cannot stay quiet about any longer. It’s something that makes me stick out like a sore thumb at events, on websites, and even among fellow kinksters. Being black. I’ve noticed that I rarely come across black Dommes and even rarer are … [Read more…]

Posted in: Rants, Thoughts Tagged: acceptance, bdsm, boundaries, ideas, prejudice, questions, race, rant, stigma
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