1. Good grief, that guy's a dick.

    I agree with you – I feel pigeonholing is just retarded for the most part. I acknowledge that there are certain power shifts that must be respected but things are dynamic specific too. There is no carpet rule and placing restrictions as in "I am X role therefore I must do Y thing and because of that I cannot associate with Z person" is just silly. I've heard some ridiculously narrow minded, label obsessive shit from people who claim to be an integral part of the BDSM community that make me think "Um, I don't think so".

    I remember yonks ago when I had that whole chub-sub episode, that's how he behaved. He wanted to come back to mine and have me force him to give me head after our first meet. Yeah right, not right away and not in my home, buster. So then he started questioning me as to whether I was assertive. What a fool.

    P.S. My captcha was subble. I thought that was oddly quite fitting.

  2. @Riff: Don't you know it!

    @Eden: Yeah, it's a mixed bag here with the people who truly enjoy it and the people who want to know-it-all and tell others what they should be doing. Hrm, whatcha gonna do?

  3. I just happened to see this post this evening. I had to comment because I went to my first much a couple of weeks ago.

    While there, I met a lot of really nice, friendly people and it didn't occur to me to ask about anyone's title or role.

    I would prefer not to know until it came up naturally during the course of conversation. I think that any relationship, be it D/s or otherwise, should be a voyage of discovery. Some will become more important than others but all need to find their own level without the distractions of "Titles" or predetermined expectations.

  4. I only started going to BDSM events a few months ago and I am asked what I am – sub or dom but I am fluid and I'm certain that many are. It depends who I am with. Still I DO love to have a man under my thumb.

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