Just like clockwork, every few months for the last decade or so, I’ll receive a message or comment like the one I was confronted with in person recently. It was disgust disguised as concern. I’ve seen it before…. I can’t believe someone like you still uses the word ‘sissy.’ The history of ‘sissy’ When I … [Tell me more…]
“I access my ‘Alpha’ pet side’ when needed during a scene,” I said to the class and their collective eyes widened in surprise. “So as a pet you are a Domme? Like issuing commands and such?” one submissive male asked with hesitation. “Yes depends on how we’re playing. I don’t always use words during that … [Tell me more…]
For some people, it’s flattering to be admired and imitated. Some of the most famous celebrities have their style, copied from one project to the next, and the kinky community is no different. For others like myself, being copied can often feel like identity theft. Just as you reading this, I am a unique person. … [Tell me more…]
For those in the know, I’ve been around. I started my kink journey on the West coast and the community, dedication, and peer pairing I received, even as a wee-little baby Domme were formidable for me. One of the first spaces I was allowed into, although I had no business there at the time, was … [Tell me more…]
I am someone who has been on a lifelong academic journey to uncover and discover what makes us who we are and explains the kinks we’re into. That’s why I couldn’t pass up a chance to chat with Kinky Wellness coach, Dana Shergill of The Partition: Home of Kinky Wellness! She advocates approaching kink as … [Tell me more…]
Mommies don’t cry.Mommies don’t cry.Mommies don’t… I couldn’t even finish my own self soothing mantra as I held back tears. I glanced at myself in the visor mirror between watching the busy highway. ‘I’m going to lose my Mommy‘ I kept hearing his voice say on repeat in my head. I knew I would have … [Tell me more…]
Throughout my 15+ years embedded in kinky spaces I have made an observation. There is a distinct overlap between those who identify as neurodiverse and those who are part of the BDSM community. Noticing the patterns of this intersectionality has been even easier, because finally, we as a society, are becoming increasingly aware of neurodiversity, especially … [Tell me more…]
Topping from the bottom. Bratting from the bottom. Topping from below. Sub-sparring. I’ve heard it called many things. This discussion bores me but I think it’s crucial to identify the flaws within it. In my opinion, this phrase is possibly one of the most misunderstood in the entire BDSM lexicon and a useless phrase that … [Tell me more…]
I know a lot of junkies. Not your typical run of the mill junkies that you might be thinking of. No. I’m talking about the kind that are a seemingly common staple in the kinky and/or polyamory community: NRC addicts. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we’re all here for the endorphins. Each and every one … [Tell me more…]