Let Me start with a confession: Twenty years ago, when My play partner nervously presented Me with a small locked device and an even smaller key, I laughed. Not out of mockery, but pure bewilderment. “You want Me to… what? Hold onto this? For how long?” Up until that point I had only heard of … [Tell me more…]
There is a question that has been sitting heavy in My chest lately. It has begun to color the way I see this entire lifestyle I’ve devoted Myself to: Does the kind of slave I seek even exist anymore? I don’t ask this lightly. I don’t ponder it as a ‘what I want is so … [Tell me more…]
When I first started exploring power exchange dynamics way back in the early 2000s (yes, that long ago haha), I thought it had to be all or nothing. Either we were “in scene” or we were just regular people doing regular relationship stuff. It took Me way too long to realize that some of the … [Tell me more…]
The tagline of this blog was always My dream…trading the house chores I had been expected to do in vanilla relationships, for something more exciting and less heteronormative. But now, I need to get something off my chest, and it’s going to sting for some of you reading this. After fifteen years in the lifestyle … [Tell me more…]
For years, I thought My need to be in control in BDSM was purely about preference and personality. I have always been strong-willed and not quiet about My feelings (unsurprisingly!). It wasn’t until I started therapy in My early 20’s that I realized how much My childhood shaped this dynamic. Growing up in a emotionally … [Tell me more…]
I’ve been a spanko since, well, forever! This is one of the few fetishes I enjoy giving and receiving. So it’s no surprise that I incorporate impact play as an “initiation ritual” for someone new I play. I consider it is a first step to serving Me. Why do I like impact play with new … [Tell me more…]
I share a lot of the positives of My lifestyle but it’s not always an easy lifestyle. Being a Femdom is an exercise in power, control, and the careful orchestration of a dynamic that feeds everyone involved. But let Me be real for a moment, it’s also an exercise in patience. And when you’re a … [Tell me more…]
For years, My work in the BDSM lifestyle has been centered on education, community-building, and radically honest dialogue. I’ve poured My energy into kink events, discussions, workshops, and classes across the globe that help other kinksters explore BDSM in safe, informed, and consensual ways. But now, I’m making the difficult decision to step back from … [Tell me more…]
I want to take this Black History Month to talk about the intersection of dominance, race, and BDSM relationships, which is a profound and deeply personal topic for Me. As a dominant Black woman in alternative relationships with two white cishet presenting male submissives, this 20 year journey has been as rewarding as it has … [Tell me more…]