Let Me start with a confession: Twenty years ago, when My play partner nervously presented Me with a small locked device and an even smaller key, I laughed. Not out of mockery, but pure bewilderment. “You want Me to… what? Hold onto this? For how long?” Up until that point I had only heard of … [Tell me more…]
The tagline of this blog was always My dream…trading the house chores I had been expected to do in vanilla relationships, for something more exciting and less heteronormative. But now, I need to get something off my chest, and it’s going to sting for some of you reading this. After fifteen years in the lifestyle … [Tell me more…]
For years, I thought My need to be in control in BDSM was purely about preference and personality. I have always been strong-willed and not quiet about My feelings (unsurprisingly!). It wasn’t until I started therapy in My early 20’s that I realized how much My childhood shaped this dynamic. Growing up in a emotionally … [Tell me more…]
I want to take this Black History Month to talk about the intersection of dominance, race, and BDSM relationships, which is a profound and deeply personal topic for Me. As a dominant Black woman in alternative relationships with two white cishet presenting male submissives, this 20 year journey has been as rewarding as it has … [Tell me more…]
Breaking up in a BDSM power exchange dynamic can be particularly challenging due to the unique emotional, psychological, and structural elements of the relationship. These breakups often feel more difficult for all involved. This is noticeable as part of what makes these relationships so special, is the depths and expansiveness of where they reach. Power … [Tell me more…]
i had just finished getting ready for bed when Mistress came into the room and asked me if i had enough energy to have some fun. Even if i was much more tired than i was, the answer would have still been an automatic and enthusiastic “Yes!” “Good” Mistress said “A deal has been struck … [Tell me more…]
Over the years I’ve pondered some important questions… But my latest one has not stopped niggling in the back of my mind… Am I Queer? But what is ‘Queer’ anyway I’ve thought often. Is it a sexual orientation? A gender identity or expression? A community and culture flair? After years of reading, examining, and listening … [Tell me more…]
If you don’t know already… I. Love. Service. Submission. When I first stepped into the world of kink, the biggest draw for me aside from sexual growth was the desire to be catered to. The classical imagery of Femdoms with their feet up, a constantly topped up glass in their hand, massages on demand, attentiveness … [Tell me more…]
Hierarchy. Reading the simple noun alone might elicit a physical and automatic reaction. Did it for you? For some people, the hatred for hierarchy runs deep. Despite that, we see hierarchies play out every day in our vanilla lives. Hierarchies often play a part to determine an individual’s or group’s status, privilege, and access to … [Tell me more…]