At the start of 2024, I set out to tick off 40 items as I turned 40. How many kinky items did I get to? Just ONE. I’m going to ignore all the things My recovering perfectionist of a brain is saying, and simply say I am disappointed. I thought I had a great plan … [Tell me more…]
Breaking up in a BDSM power exchange dynamic can be particularly challenging due to the unique emotional, psychological, and structural elements of the relationship. These breakups often feel more difficult for all involved. This is noticeable as part of what makes these relationships so special, is the depths and expansiveness of where they reach. Power … [Tell me more…]
Navigating BDSM social and, in My case, a professional space often requires interaction with a wide range of people, groups, and organizations. From event hosts, to start-up kinky ventures and community acquaintances to people you may not particularly like, the world is full of diverse personalities. However, the notion that being polite and maintaining a … [Tell me more…]
The kink and BDSM community is an effervescent, diverse space where individuals explore their fantasies, desires, and boundaries. I’ve learned after two decades within the community what’s really important. At the heart of this exploration are two fundamental principles: consent and privacy. These principles not only ensure the safety and well-being of participants but also foster … [Tell me more…]
Over the years I’ve pondered some important questions… But my latest one has not stopped niggling in the back of my mind… Am I Queer? But what is ‘Queer’ anyway I’ve thought often. Is it a sexual orientation? A gender identity or expression? A community and culture flair? After years of reading, examining, and listening … [Tell me more…]
If you don’t know already… I. Love. Service. Submission. When I first stepped into the world of kink, the biggest draw for me aside from sexual growth was the desire to be catered to. The classical imagery of Femdoms with their feet up, a constantly topped up glass in their hand, massages on demand, attentiveness … [Tell me more…]
Hierarchy. Reading the simple noun alone might elicit a physical and automatic reaction. Did it for you? For some people, the hatred for hierarchy runs deep. Despite that, we see hierarchies play out every day in our vanilla lives. Hierarchies often play a part to determine an individual’s or group’s status, privilege, and access to … [Tell me more…]
I was delighted to be welcomed back to chat in depth with someone who understands kinky and BDSM as a means of personal growth. I joined Kinky Wellness coach, Dana Shergill of The Partition: Home of Kinky Wellness again for another chat! You might remember that she is a big advocate for integrating kink into … [Tell me more…]
A couple of weekends ago, I taught at the popular kinky weekend-long, true, complete hotel takeover, Winter Fire. My marker for the “success” of an event I attend is normally: With those in mind, the event was a total success! I have denied (ignored?) that I have a total Ownership fetish. What’s that mean? To … [Tell me more…]