There is a question that has been sitting heavy in My chest lately. It has begun to color the way I see this entire lifestyle I’ve devoted Myself to: Does the kind of slave I seek even exist anymore? I don’t ask this lightly. I don’t ponder it as a ‘what I want is so … [Tell me more…]
When I first started exploring power exchange dynamics way back in the early 2000s (yes, that long ago haha), I thought it had to be all or nothing. Either we were “in scene” or we were just regular people doing regular relationship stuff. It took Me way too long to realize that some of the … [Tell me more…]
The tagline of this blog was always My dream…trading the house chores I had been expected to do in vanilla relationships, for something more exciting and less heteronormative. But now, I need to get something off my chest, and it’s going to sting for some of you reading this. After fifteen years in the lifestyle … [Tell me more…]
For years, I thought My need to be in control in BDSM was purely about preference and personality. I have always been strong-willed and not quiet about My feelings (unsurprisingly!). It wasn’t until I started therapy in My early 20’s that I realized how much My childhood shaped this dynamic. Growing up in a emotionally … [Tell me more…]
I’ve been a spanko since, well, forever! This is one of the few fetishes I enjoy giving and receiving. So it’s no surprise that I incorporate impact play as an “initiation ritual” for someone new I play. I consider it is a first step to serving Me. Why do I like impact play with new … [Tell me more…]
I want to take this Black History Month to talk about the intersection of dominance, race, and BDSM relationships, which is a profound and deeply personal topic for Me. As a dominant Black woman in alternative relationships with two white cishet presenting male submissives, this 20 year journey has been as rewarding as it has … [Tell me more…]
At the start of 2024, I set out to tick off 40 items as I turned 40. How many kinky items did I get to? Just ONE. I’m going to ignore all the things My recovering perfectionist of a brain is saying, and simply say I am disappointed. I thought I had a great plan … [Tell me more…]
Breaking up in a BDSM power exchange dynamic can be particularly challenging due to the unique emotional, psychological, and structural elements of the relationship. These breakups often feel more difficult for all involved. This is noticeable as part of what makes these relationships so special, is the depths and expansiveness of where they reach. Power … [Tell me more…]
Navigating BDSM social and, in my case, a professional space often requires interaction with a wide range of people, groups, and organizations. From event hosts, to start-up kinky ventures and community acquaintances to people you may not particularly like, the world is full of diverse personalities. However, the notion that being polite and maintaining a … [Tell me more…]