A couple of weekends ago, I taught at the popular kinky weekend-long, true, complete hotel takeover, Winter Fire. My marker for the “success” of an event I attend is normally: With those in mind, the event was a total success! I have denied (ignored?) that I have a total Ownership fetish. What’s that mean? To … [Tell me more…]
Just like clockwork, every few months for the last decade or so, I’ll receive a message or comment like the one I was confronted with in person recently. It was disgust disguised as concern. I’ve seen it before…. I can’t believe someone like you still uses the word ‘sissy.’ The history of ‘sissy’ When I … [Tell me more…]
For some people, it’s flattering to be admired and imitated. Some of the most famous celebrities have their style, copied from one project to the next, and the kinky community is no different. For others like myself, being copied can often feel like identity theft. Just as you reading this, I am a unique person. … [Tell me more…]
For those in the know, I’ve been around. I started my kink journey on the West coast and the community, dedication, and peer pairing I received, even as a wee-little baby Domme were formidable for me. One of the first spaces I was allowed into, although I had no business there at the time, was … [Tell me more…]
Throughout my 15+ years embedded in kinky spaces I have made an observation. There is a distinct overlap between those who identify as neurodiverse and those who are part of the BDSM community. Noticing the patterns of this intersectionality has been even easier, because finally, we as a society, are becoming increasingly aware of neurodiversity, especially … [Tell me more…]
Topping from the bottom. Bratting from the bottom. Topping from below. Sub-sparring. I’ve heard it called many things. This discussion bores me but I think it’s crucial to identify the flaws within it. In my opinion, this phrase is possibly one of the most misunderstood in the entire BDSM lexicon and a useless phrase that … [Tell me more…]
I know a lot of junkies. Not your typical run of the mill junkies that you might be thinking of. No. I’m talking about the kind that are a seemingly common staple in the kinky and/or polyamory community: NRC addicts. Let’s be honest with ourselves, we’re all here for the endorphins. Each and every one … [Tell me more…]
When you think about BDSM and the aspect of service, I bet one of the first things that come to your mind is about willpower. How can a submissive endure that?Why do they agree to this over and over?What can they be telling themselves to push through?When will they give up?Where do they summon the … [Tell me more…]
On my quest for a new slave (is this even the right title for what I am seeking?), I have been taking my time finalizing my desires and digging deep into my expectations. I’ve been asking myself, what specifically I’m seeking and what the process will look like to fine tune a human to my … [Tell me more…]