When I first started exploring power exchange dynamics way back in the early 2000s (yes, that long ago haha), I thought it had to be all or nothing. Either we were “in scene” or we were just regular people doing regular relationship stuff. It took Me way too long to realize that some of the … [Tell me more…]
The tagline of this blog was always My dream…trading the house chores I had been expected to do in vanilla relationships, for something more exciting and less heteronormative. But now, I need to get something off my chest, and it’s going to sting for some of you reading this. After fifteen years in the lifestyle … [Tell me more…]
For years, I thought My need to be in control in BDSM was purely about preference and personality. I have always been strong-willed and not quiet about My feelings (unsurprisingly!). It wasn’t until I started therapy in My early 20’s that I realized how much My childhood shaped this dynamic. Growing up in a emotionally … [Tell me more…]
I’ve been a spanko since, well, forever! This is one of the few fetishes I enjoy giving and receiving. So it’s no surprise that I incorporate impact play as an “initiation ritual” for someone new I play. I consider it is a first step to serving Me. Why do I like impact play with new … [Tell me more…]
I share a lot of the positives of My lifestyle but it’s not always an easy lifestyle. Being a Femdom is an exercise in power, control, and the careful orchestration of a dynamic that feeds everyone involved. But let Me be real for a moment—it’s also an exercise in patience. And when you’re a Dominant … [Tell me more…]
For years, My work in the BDSM lifestyle has been centered on education, community-building, and radically honest dialogue. I’ve poured My energy into kink events, discussions, workshops, and classes across the globe that help other kinksters explore BDSM in safe, informed, and consensual ways. But now, I’m making the difficult decision to step back from … [Tell me more…]
I want to take this Black History Month to talk about the intersection of dominance, race, and BDSM relationships, which is a profound and deeply personal topic for Me. As a dominant Black woman in alternative relationships with two white cishet presenting male submissives, this 20 year journey has been as rewarding as it has … [Tell me more…]
With nearly 20 years of helping the kink community under My belt, I felt the need to speak up last week. In the first part of My blog into kink volunteerism, I examined the noble intentions behind volunteering and its potential to create positive change in communities. I also broke down the darker side of … [Tell me more…]
At the start of 2024, I set out to tick off 40 items as I turned 40. How many kinky items did I get to? Just ONE. I’m going to ignore all the things My recovering perfectionist of a brain is saying, and simply say I am disappointed. I thought I had a great plan … [Tell me more…]