The epic theoretical battle that I’ve been fighting with in my head for a couple of months. If the two were liquids, they’d be oil and water. They are not meshing well.
Each has their own pros and their own cons.
The Boyfriend: The traditional beau. He’ll woo you until he gets you (or gets you in bed), then it’s back to “Mediocre Matt.”
If you like guys who show up late, would rather watch sports than be with you, and will forget your birthday and any other special occasions then this is what you’re looking for. He is mildly selfish and expects things to be at least 50-50 (but honestly, they never really are) and wants you to be interested in his hobbies without little to no disregard for yours.
He’s great for holiday photo-ops, reliable sex, remembering your work schedule, showing off around your single friends, putting off creepy one-liner Kings at bars, and reaching things on top shelves.
Try being bossy with him and he’ll tell his buddies you’re PMSing and eye-roll at you behind your back.
The slave: A Domme’s dream come true. Despite his best efforts he does screw up but instead of getting upset with him, you both understand some paddling to his backside will help him remember his place.
His main goal is whatever you are craving. One of his sole purposes is making and seeing you happy and he tries to do this by anticipating what you will need or want. Hot bath, foot massage, pussy worship, fixing dinner, he’s on it!
When he humps you in the middle of the night and you don’t want to deal with it, you scold him before putting on his cock cage and settling in for a good slumber, but best of all there’s no peep from him.
As one dimensional as he is you are still surprised and delighted by his ever-constant submission.
As much as I love a man who doesn’t question my authority, I also like someone who can make decisions when I ask. I want someone who massages my feet when I need it and doesn’t tell me that they are tired. I like to be praised, wanted, and desired but when I want my alone time, I want my alone time. I want a boyfriend and I want a slave, preferably within one person. I am just worried how these two are ever suppose to merge? How are we suppose to ever go from just bf/gf to Mgf/sbf?
I obviously vote for a slave!
Believe Me, an "x" boyfriend who becomes a slave, is the most perfect situation.
It takes time and training but, the result is heaven!
I am with Ms. Alice.
We have a tough time dealing with a similar situation, which is husband vs. slave. She loves the pampering from the slave, but she craves the sexual manliness of a lover. This is why we consider living a cuckold lifestyle.
Hi Ms. L.
I think I hear you saying that you need a healthy balance in your relationship. Very few relationships can be in D/s mode 24/7 and also be effective in the "real world". But no boyfriend of a dominant woman should forget birthdays, ignore her in favor of his hobbies or consistently arrive late either. That doesn't mean he has to be in perpetual "what can I do to please you Mistress" mode but a little consideration would be nice. Especially if he professes to be a submissive male who likes to have his ass whipped.
My Queen and I are a busy married couple with a child, an aging mother (mine) to look after, a house that needs repairs and hectic jobs that demand a lot from us. We can't always be in Mistress/slave mode. But I would never forget her birthday and I don't ignore her needs. She still calls the shots for the most part but when she wants me to make a decision I do so. There should a be a middle ground for a D/s couple when they can't be actively engaged in their D/s roles but "boyfriend mode" definitely isn't an option for any self respecting submissive male!
Just my 2 cents! 😉
Best
hmp
Hello Mistress and everyone.
I just stumbled onto this blog, and please forgive me, am rather unsavvy when it comes to making contact and reaching people via internet. But my ex-girlfriend and I are VERY DESPERATELY trying to move from bf/gf to Mistress/slave. Sometimes we get the hang of it, and sometimes we stumble. We both recognize that we don't quite make it as a couple, but the switch to true servitude/liberation is tough for us. Would any Dommes out there be willing to coach/mentor/advise my keyholder/ex-girlfriend? Any sounding boards out there for when she'd like someone's perspective besides mine? Thank you so much. charliebn73atgmaildotcom