1. If your bf is never going to go back to the fun you once had, you definitely have a problem here. I know that I have no idea of how your dynamic outside of the bedroom is. But if you two have not been together one full year and you've already found a lack of sexual compatibility, it is only going to get worse until the resentment or the frustration boils to a head.

    Again, I want to say that there are other fish in the sea, but I don't know your entire situation.

  2. Do you think this relationship will continue to work without the BDSM? Your relationship was built on one thing, and that's been completely removed. It's more than just learning to adjust; it's removing a core part of your relationship and of your sex.

    I know for me, personally, I would feel just as frustrated and angry, and probably wouldn't be nearly as understanding and dedicated to trying to make something work, especially if we'd only been together 7 months.

    Obviously, you are going to do what is best for you, but I think you've got a lot to think about. Is this what you really want?

  3. I haven't read a lot of your blog, having just stumbled across it, so apologies if I have missed something, but I don't understand why him not being your slave means you have to have boring vanilla sex?!

    Kinky sex or rough sex doesn't mean M/s or D/s… it's just kinky sex.

    Many vanilla couples with no M/s or D/s dynamic have kinky sex. Do the kink if it makes you (and him) happy, just don't do the power exchange.

    Best of luck, I do hope you sort it out with him.


  4. Me again, having read a little more now… I am enjoying your blog – it's very honest and open.

    Another thought… I see that he said he didn't want 'BDSM' anymore, but did you ever define with him what that meant to him?

    I've never met a vanilla man who didn't enjoy kinky sex (hence my previous comment) within 'vanilla-ish' limits (eg biting, hair pulling, scratching, bondage etc are in; pissing, spitting and calling him your little bitch are out). I assume you would have been able to tell before now if he didn't like it, so my point above is really that maybe the submission is too much for him, but the play is not.

    If you otherwise have a good relationship, maybe it's worth being sure and maybe that's enough.

    Again, I wish you the best with it.


  5. as I read this again Im convinced….for you bdsm, is not something you dabble in, it is something that defines you…..not a bad definition either

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