Some friends of mine had a heated debate regarding safewords.
Some people hate safewords, feeling that they restrict the natural flow of the relationship and their play time.
Others don’t understand their proper place and find them amusing.
While the majority of people use safewords to well…feel safe.
Safewords are pre-determined word(s) or a phrase said at intervals at which you’d like your play partner to alter their actions in a more forgiving manner to prevent any harmful damage.
My stance is that every relationship no matter how old, complicated, or linear in its intentions should acquire a safeword.
The tried and true “Safe, sane, and consensual” saying holds some leverage. If you do want to participate in something that at least appears to be sane then deciding on a safeword is a great start.
I asked a few people what their safewords were and got an electic mix.
There were the usual suspects:
Green = Keep going
Yellow = Slow down
Red = Stop
Some non-traditional ones such as:
And the oddly overly prevalent food ones:
- Blueberry pancakes
I’m not sure what it says about us kinksters that our minds go to off-the-wall foods for safewords but it’s funny to imagine them being yelled out mid-scene.
If you happen to be gagged or have a set of limbs tied you can always use the “tap out” method, or if your eyes are visible use blinking as a safeword. Make sure to discern what means what prior to play. And hopefully you don’t have an extra sadistic partner who will revel in delight at your attempts for plea.
That’s not to say all relationships will have use for their safe words but it’s always nice to have one handy…in case they’re tied.