“Only boring people get bored,” my Mom would say to me as a child.
I took that to heart as a youngling and made it a philosophy to live by. Anytime I felt ‘bored’ in or by life I found a way to rouse myself out of the funk. This didn’t always end well but it kept things un-boring. This is what actually helped me find kink. I say “find” but kink was always within me. It just took me feeling sexually bored to pursue it and the knowledge it entailed.
Find me here after a decade and….well frankly I’m bored.
Now now, wait to hear my side before you go shaking your fist and writing me angry emails about my travels, classes, and podcasts. I’m not bored by choice, it’s due to circumstance. I just spent the better part of 18 months engaging, directing, and calibrating a 24/7, out of this world dynamic until it was just-so.
Only to have it snatched away and put on a shelf much too high to reach, even in my tallest stilettos. Everyone has an outlet that makes them feel more grounded, more at peace within themselves. Some people train for marathons, others get to joining the latest flood of yoga practices, there are those who unwind with wine, and even more that do so with other self-destructive yet necessary to their happiness tactics. My way is kink.
The craziness of my kinky lifestyle is what keeps me sane.
I’ve written about this before, the wanting and not having, but it feels different this time. Part of it is because I’m not lusting after something I don’t have, a possibility, or an idea in my mind that I haven’t found. Oh no, that’s the most frustrating part—I am desiring what is mine. I have the person I’ve been wanting who is willing to sacrifice for me just as much as I am for him…and just a little bit more. There’s an ocean of desire, craving, and needing separating us. The brief moments we get together and get back to our own D/s way, seem almost cruel at times but still we need it.
Some people ask how the silliest questions…How do you do it?
The answer is simple.
Because we must.
Just like Puppy must obey me, we must endure this separation because we MUST be together. It sounds silly that to be together we must be apart but that is our fate at the moment. It’s not without challenges. We both crave to physically kiss, touch, spank, choke, and cuddle together. We are desperate each day to present our respectful roles to the other like a kid presents yet another messy mud pie to his Mom.
Prior to Puppy, I had done some long-distance kink relationships (LDKR) and they were fulfilling enough. The way the travel size Pringles will do in a pinch but you’d love to at least hold a full size can. I realized a few months ago this was different because he was all I needed kink-wise wrapped in a neat little bow, like he had been created just to serve my needs and I for him through my life of domination.
So I’m bored.
But…we’re not boring. We never were.
We’ve just had to figure out a way to past the kinky time online until we get those much needed in person meetings. And that’s been an adventure in itself, finding ways to keep us from becoming bored when we’re back together. Sometimes it’s lived out by vicariously watching others, finding new toys we want to purchase together, a scene we’ve literally dreamed about, or even just seeing the other in peak D/s form from head to toe.
So no Mom, fuck you. Boring people get bored but so do really amazing and fascinating people. Everyone gets bored.
The best thing to do is entertain yourself with ideas for the future and boy do we have one hell of a future planned.