I’m in a BDSM slump. I’ve been in them before but they usually fix themselves before long. They’ve not lasted for a year or more, yet here I am.
There was a time long ago in my early scene years where I thought I liked training submissives. I was good at it. It was a point of pride. Breaking someone down and rebuilding them in your image sounds like every dominant’s dream.
But, it takes time and dedication and a lot of patience. I find myself very short on all of these.
If I’m being honest the boy has been much more than I ever bargained for. Navigating polyamory and kink at the same time is proved to be a rather daunting task. If I focus too much on one then the other gets pushed to the back burner.
How is a domme to do it all?
Do you ever feel exhausted by kink? Like the lifestyle requires much more than you can give it?
It’s a terrible self deprecating cycle. I lack the desire to do kink but when I try to muster the energy and I fail to do it properly I lose the desire. How much of a D/s relationship falls to the dominant to initiate? Where does/how the submissive suggest play without sounding like they’re topping from the bottom?
I can’t tell if this is better or worse than a vanilla sexual slump.
I promised myself that this year I’d fall back in love with kink but what if kink just doesn’t want to fall in love with me?
From a submissive point of view, i think it takes work from both to keep things fresh or rather to keep the kink thriving.
I dont think its topping from the bottom for the submissive to initiate/suggest play, the dominant can say no….an option i dont have lol
Stopped by to say thanks for following me.
We are still new to all of this, therefore no slumps of this sort for us, yet, but it is a lot of work…and having two of me, well, I wouldn't want that job! lol.
Maybe something new is in order?
I also agree with tori, it comes from both sides.
Thanks Tori & Misty! Just knowing that others understand the struggle helps a bit. We're working on a fix 🙂
Saw you on my list and I am so glad I stopped in (yes, late- but I'm here =)
I can very much see your side here. Vanilla life takes time and effort- it pays the bills. Using the time and energy you have left to enjoy your kink side can be a struggle when you feel you have NO time or energy. That is a big struggle on my sub side too. We have made a lot of changes recently to create less of a distinction between our vanilla and kink sides- it's really helping us both.
I think living poly would make my head spin! I give you credit for even trying to juggle it all. Hope things are improving for you, I look forward to following your story!
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