I use to have another blog on this site that I used primarily for meticulously detailed information on how I was training my sub at the time. While I found it fun at the time it sort of petered out once we broke up and I haven’t updated it since. I was contemplating whether or not to delete it last month when I realized I had a comment that I had never responded to.
Typically I would’ve called it a lost cause but this person was only searching for friends within the scene and left their email address, so I responded to the year+ old comment explaining what happened. We chatted a few days later and upon talking, the reader, a male, asked if I’d be free for dinner or drinks that night.
I happily obliged as I’m always up for meeting new people and drinking seems to be a local past-time here in the city. He got to the bar before myself and even though we hadn’t exchanged pictures, I just knew it was him. We got a table and began chatting.
“So do you have a girlfriend?,” I asked him almost immediately after seating.
“Yes”, he answered.
“Did you tell her you were meeting me tonight?” I asked skeptically.
“No” he responded plainly.
“Are you going to tell her?” I questioned again.
Again he replied, “No”.
I tried to let the issue go as we talked about general ideals; nothing too risque.
I kept eying the ring on his finger.
Our food arrived, he asked about my blog and some of the things I’ve done in the lifestyle.
I kept eying the ring on his finger.
We ordered more drinks and we started talking about our sexual interests. But I couldn’t stop eying the ring on his finger.
Finally I probed again about his relationship status by explaining my open relationship situation to him.
At last he said sheepishly, “Yeah…I should tell you, I’m married.”
As the words tumbled from his mouth I felt myself fighting the urge to leave. I may be some women’s worst nightmares next to their husbands but they should fear not. I am now very firm in my plight against anything to do with married individuals who play, plan to play, sleep around, cheat, etc unbeknownst to their spouses.
As he sat there and lamented about how his and his wife’s sexual tastes didn’t mesh up, she’d never really understand, he had unmet desires, blah, blah, blah I could only feel a twinge of annoyance.
I can’t feel sympathy for someone who has placed themselves in what they later deem an “undesirable situation”. I can only acknowledge their stupidity and lack of ability to critically think out an arrangement such as marriage fully. It’s not really a prison when you’re the warden.
When I asked him, “What would you do if you found someone you connected with sexually?”
He danced around the issue before answering honestly, “In reality I’d probably do what I wanted but not tell my wife unless it evolved into an ongoing thing or turned serious.”
Yes, he really said that aloud.
We wrapped it up not too long thereafter (thankfully the metallic taste from all the tongue biting was getting to me) but when I got home I still felt very dirty. I am upset that my right to make a fully informed decision was taken away from me with his lies. If he had told me the truth; that he was married, I probably would have never met him for drinks and dinner.
This shit may work for celebrities but I am not looking to be anyone’s Mistress on the side (not that he asked me)…but it got me thinking of past experiences when I have been asked. I need to be full, front and center. As if a Mistress can ever truly be happy being “the other woman”. Pfft!
I can see from your POV because as a Mistress, you can never really 'control' a man who has another woman. I have to admit, I am in two stances about married men too. I myself try to seek out single men, because you have more flexibility in the relationship but I have had married men approach me. In those circumstances especially, I want transparency from them so I can make my own decision whether to proceed or not although to be quite fair, they are my least desired choice.
For example, the last guy I blogged about was not wearing a ring but started telling me all about his marriage during our date at the club while trying to hold my hand and kiss me. I think witholding that kind of info when you want something from someone is very selfish and unfair.
The sad reality is that 99% of them are married.
It's the lie not the reality that gets me, as a submissive female I have to trust the person so much, to be tied, have boundaries pushed and allow them to make decisions on my behalf.
I met a great guy just the other week he said je was single but 2 days later I started getting wife phone calls. If he had been honest I could of still moved forward but the lie means I would never be able to truly give myself, I would always have a doubt.
Does that make any sense?
Did you delete the training blog?
@Eden: Exactly, just honest up front info would be appreciated. It's childish to try to "decide" for me when I'll end up doing what I want anyway.
@littleshaun: So sad but so true.
@heelsnstocking: Ugh, sorry to hear you've encountered this as well. We're not stupid…women usually know when something is up. I hope you've promptly kicked him to the curb haha.
@Anon: Nope not deleted, just not visible, in case I want to use it again for another sub.
Any chance you could make the training blog available with a password or something?
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