I definitely get the phrase “a New York minute” after visiting this week. The city was enthralling, bustling, and confusing as always. It’s almost like being home when I am there for an extended period. And this visit I really I had to tear myself away to head back to DC.
I initially went for some work and to visit a few friends but it became evident the city had other plans for me. On Friday I went to a local BDSM munch. They met in downtown Manhattan and it was a group geared towards the younger players in the scene. I was really psyched to see how their groups compared to back home so I arrived on time only to realize, the group hadn’t specified how to recognize them. Once I poked around the restaurant where they were meeting I found a hand written sign sagging on the table that just said their group’s call letters. Further inspection of the folks gathered round didn’t show off their more kinky sides the way I thought the DC group subtly did. These people were dressed pretty smartly for a 24-hour diner which made me glad I had chosen to dress up as well.
I dragged the bf along with me so that I would have a familiar face and to expose him just a little more to the scene; not that I want to convert him, I just don’t want him conjuring images of the people I hang with that are unrealistic. We were greeted briefly (very briefly) and then promptly ignored. I tried jumping in the conversation over the course of the meal but they definitely had a clique feeling to their group. It was obvious they all knew each other as they traded inside jokes and hushed laughter.
I found out who was “in charge” (if you want to count a whiny, overly anxious, unorganized man-child as a leader) and tried to introduce myself again but I was brushed off. As new members came they scrambled not to be placed at the end of the table with myself…”the new girl”. It was like I had cooties! I’ll admit, I wasn’t being loud or overly aggressive in the situation but that’s because I wanted to make a good first impression, you only get one chance right? And they were tanking at that, as I found their behavior down-right rude.
And just as I was about to leave, a delightfully adorable girl with a small but simple collar sat next me. She smiled and I thought, ‘Now here’s a friendly face‘. The group acknowledged her but then proceeded to also keep her out of the loop. Her, myself and my bf all chatted for almost an hour and I learned a little about her, that she was new to the group (this was her second meeting) and looking to make friends. We exchanged our Fetlife info and I can at least be grateful that if nothing else, I made one acquaintance from from the diner bunch. I guess I’m just not New York enough to fit into that group.
On Saturday night I participated in something I’d never heard of, much less done. A phone party line. I can’t even recall how I heard about this or got involved, but I do enjoy a good session of phone sex so I thought I’d see what this was all about. I talked with local subs and slaves and a few other Dommes via phone for a couple hours about various BDSM topics. I had a blast and was provided with thought-provoking discussions. Afterward you decide if you want to exchange phone numbers with anyone you talked to and I was lucky enough to be requested by everyone I chatted with! After picture sharing, some of us even made plans to meet the next time I was in the city.
I am not sure if I have mentioned how I feel about what I’ve dubbed as the “sub-hunt” but I usually take a while to find a sub. I am not sure if it’s because I am too picky or because the men are too flaky but once I find a sub I try to give it my all. When our time has come to an end, I go back on the “sub-hunt” sometimes it can take me 6 months or longer to find what I deem an adequate submissive. So far I’ve been looking for a year, more seriously for the past few months and it is getting daunting.
I feel as if I am scraping the bottom of the barrel with my search. So, I mentally told myself that if I hadn’t found anyone that I was interested in and vice-versa by November 1st that I am taking an official break for a few months. Just as a breather and to keep my sanity! I started looking in NY (because this is also where I found the bf) and I wrote a few people. Some guys were interesting but I got a vibe letting me know they weren’t serious. I talked on the phone to a couple but there was no spark. One guy even said after picking up the phone: “Mistress, I have to be honest, I am just looking for sex…and you have a beautiful mouth that I want to do dirty things to me.”
While I appreciate his candor, I declined, oh not so politely.
I decided to switch up my approach. Fuck how much a guy says he can do for me, fuck his experience, fuck how well he can worship my pussy, and look for someone I might actually get along with. It was with this attitude I wrote someone on Collarme who:
- Listed his vanilla interests before his BDSM interests in his profile (brownie point #1)
- Was interested in music and the arts (brownie point #2)
- Happened to be easy on the eyes (brownie point #3)
- Conveniently was located just 8 miles from where I was currently (brownie point #4).
I wrote him an honest one-liner and kept looking but to my surprise, he was also online that moment and wrote back within minutes. We chatted for a bit in messenger and then he asked if he could call me later that night. Guys rarely ask if they can call me. They always want to fuck around and chat online for ages or text sexual fantasies or email me NSFW pics. I usually have to initiate the phone call idea. All the more reason I was happy to oblige. Once he called and we talked, it was strange…we just fell into the conversation. It was like we had talked before or maybe he was just that easy to talk to. He kept complimenting my voice and my personality (never a bad move) but I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. The conversation was going so well and I enjoyed his personality so much that I slipped in casually:
“So, you wanna meet tomorrow for lunch?” There was a slight pause on his end.
Fuck. I knew it, another illusionist. He just wanted to see how close he could get to his fantasy without actually having to act on it.
“Sure! I’d love to Queen,” he chimed in.
Now I was the one with a pause. I tried not to get too excited because, making plans and following through on plans are two different things.
I told him to pick a restuarant that wasn’t Thai and text me the location tomorrow around noon.
The night dragged on with my insomnia and I tried not to think about tomorrow and if he would really text me or if we would really meet. I was relieved when sleep took me over at 7am.
A little after noon, still no text. I wasn’t disappointed. I had prepared myself to expect this. I did some last minute packing, showered and such but when I came back to my phone I had one message with the name of a Colombian restaurant and the address, with a time to meet. He had taken to calling me ‘Queen’ so I instructed him to write ‘Queen’s Subject‘ on his inner hand before we met.
For me this was just another test to see if the Collarme sub was serious. We met and had lunch. He was everything I thought he’d be from talking. Halfway thru lunch he flashed me his palm, inside in big black sharpie letters were: Queen’s Subject. This was very unlike one sub I met who who wrote another message on his hand so tiny I needed magnifying glasses to read it. This sub was proud to have my name scrawled across his body already.
He offered me back to his place for tea and I didn’t have anything but time to kill before the drive back so I accepted. Upon arriving, he showed me around but when I sat on the couch, I told him to sit lower than myself. He sat on the floor, then laid on the floor and that is where he stayed. He begged to kiss my feet and hands, which I let him do. He was so adorable as he lay wrapped around my leg almost drifting to sleep as I petted his head. I really wanted to have him strip and allow me the pleasure of some light spanking, but I didn’t want to push too far for a first meeting. We talked and moved from room to room but he still expressed wanting to sit at my feet.
At some point he asked me if I liked the power exchange that comes with being a Domme. “What does it feel like to see me sitting here at your feet?”, he asked from my toes.
“I can’t describe it in words,” I said as I thought about it for a moment.
“You know when you have a craving for a certain food…and maybe you wait all week until Friday to finally get it but then you do? It’s like the first taste of what you’ve been craving, when it melts in your mouth and you savor the flavor” I said whole heartedly.
He seemed to like this analogy. But that was accurate for me and if the Collarme sub is my first taste of a long craving, then I think I’ll have seconds!
It sucks that people can be so rude. You would think that being part of a community that is already "on the down low" that the members would embrace other folks. Sometimes the most discriminated groups are the most discriminating.
But, i was happy to read of Your current success with CM and Your new sub. Congrats!!
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