Have you missed me?
Have you survived? Thrived? Barely both? Hang in there, things are looking up in this crazy new world of ours.
While I am still taking a much needed break from fulltime kink, I can’t resist the subby siren call of Locktober. As you all know, Locktober is the most wonderful time of the year – willing chastity players delight as they lock away their ability to touch themselves and keyholders cheer with devious daydreams in their minds.
New to Locktober? Make sure to read my featured post on Medium about the history and general concept first. This year I am going to breakdown Locktober even further for those who have muddled it over for a year and are ready to take the first step into themed chastity play.
So…you might think ‘Gee d20, exactly what do I need for Locktober and I have questions about ____‘ Never fear, as your all-knowing friendly-ish neighborhood Femdom I’ve got you covered!
Why should I take part in Locktober?
If you’re interested in long term, controlled chastity play this is a good beginning. A lot of individuals use the tool of chastity to push themselves/open themselves to being guided further towards their chastity (or other!) goals. If you are someone who “has a problem with self gratification” Locktober could give you (and your poor genitals) a break from that habit. Plus Locktober is totally customized if you want it to be – 31 days is a nice goal but it’s not the only marker of success.
But Mistress masturbation is good for you…
Haha, yes many boys have showered me with their research about the benefits of touching their pathetic cocks and while there is merit within that…it’s only 31 days. You won’t die – that’s my scientific researched opinion guess after over 100 keys I’ve held, we have had not a single death linked to not being able to jerk off. I’ve got a perfect record haha. What did slowly die? Their will to think about their dicks 19, yes 19, times a day.
However, I do know that research shows that masturbation, as well as other sexual activities leading to sexual pleasure or orgasm, trigger the release of hormones and chemicals involved in the brain’s pleasure-reward center. Masturbation causes dopamine, a chemical associated with pleasure, to be released into your body. Simply put, dopamine makes you feel good and puts you in a better mood. On top of that, the hormone oxytocin, which is released during orgasm, lowers cortisol levels. Cortisol is a main stress hormone, and is usually present in high levels in stressed out people. Touching yourself and climaxing can boost these chemicals and, in result, help you feel more at peace. I get it, I do.
But this month isn’t about that. You have 11 more months to enjoy all of that, so why not try something different?
So you think masturbation is bad?
While most people experience positive effects from masturbating, this is not true for everyone.
Some may be morally or religiously opposed to masturbation and feel guilty or shameful for engaging in masturbation or even thinking about it. Excessive masturbation can also cause physical problems such as irritated or broken skin, swelling of the genitals, prolonged desensitization, and cramps.
Masturbation is also difficult for some people to engage in positively, especially in those with sexual dysfunction or a history of abuse. These people may find it very embarrassing or even distressing to engage in masturbation. All of this is to say, I can support a purposeful healthy sexual balance.
What are the effects experienced during Locktober?
Although you will be hesitant at first, the idea of male chastity may help you see a more sexual side of your partner or keyholder. Are they not as interested in sex as much as she used to be? This may all change once she holds the literal keys to your chastity cage. Personally I find an increase in my sex drive is derived from my emotional knowing that I will have complete control of your sexuality. This can drive most any keyholder wild with passion. (I know it does me!)
What what about *me*…what do I get from it?
You? Ah yes, how could I forget…well you get attention to your piteous penis. You get the care and effort put into the act of watching over your pleasure. Have you ever paid close attention to someone’s sexual energy for entire month every day? Doubtful.
But more importantly what I have found over the years is when boys are in chastity, they become more energetic. After an orgasm, a man gets tired and lazy. When he is not able to orgasm, it builds up that energy. Over a period of time with no release, you typically learn other ways of releasing that energy. That means more energy for chores around the house, attention to the keyholder’s needs, a new hobby, even a healthier sex life. Even though a man may not be having orgasms as often, he would be giving them to his significant other more often, mixed with exercise and house chores, making a stronger and healthier relationship.
Can I do Locktober alone or do I have to have a partner/Mistress/keyholder?
You can absolutely practice solo Locktober and chastity play. It will build willpower and discipline on your own time. Now, when you do have a willing participant, you’re all ready to get started – right out of the box, no batteries needed.
Okay fine, you’ve convinced me, where should I start?
I knew you would eventually come to see it my way. The great thing about Locktober and chastity play in general is that you don’t need much. Here’s the starter kit to locking yourself up no matter the month.
- Lube – You will need a good lube for making getting in the cage easier. I suggest for beginners Baby Oil Gel with Aloe for getting into the cage and using on the rings as needed to curb (unwanted) discomfort.
- Anti-chafing cream – This will help you avoid rubbing against skin uncomfortably. I’ve used Body Glide with glowing results. Pro Tip: Avoid anti-chafing creams with artificial scents when possible
- Chastity cage – Obviously you’ll need something to lock that cock (or other) up nicely for the month Locktober. There’s a options from frugal to extravagant so here’s a couple mid-tier cages as you get familiar with what works for you. There’s the tried and tested polycarbonate CB-6000, a silicone cage called Truly, Madly, Kinky, or the Steel HoD S70 (I like this one because I can’t see the thing I’m locking away inside. And let’s not forget about chastity belts for those without pointy bits. The materials you should be aiming for are medical grade stainless steel, titanium, polycarbonate plastic, or 100% silicone.
And also, here are five things you should to know about yourself before even considering Locktober or chastity play:
- How big are you when excited and relaxed?
- What is the total circumference of your bits, before and after release?
- Do you have a sexual stimulation tolerance level?
- What will be the most accommodating clothing options for inside and outside the house?
- When do you plan to be locked up? All day, only in the evenings, just when playing, etc? Pro tip: If you’re playing with someone don’t forget this important question
Make sure you “know thy cock” before you lock yourself away. Cock cage ownership and/or use is a big responsibility with even bigger benefits. I find that sometimes just being told what to do doesn’t have the same effectiveness as male chastity training can.