4 Comments

  1. I love this, not least because of your self awareness and honesty in it, but also because I don't think we see this perspective much (because a lot of domly types want to gloss over it).

    Dominants are as guilty of having some fantasy in their heads as submissives, but we only ever hear 'everyone' complain about the latter. The former goes mostly hidden as dominants stumble through and have bad endings to relationships without ever figuring out that THEY are being unrealistic in their ideas of what the relationship 'should' be like.

    I think there is often a LOT of burn-out because the dominant thinks they have to 'play a role' 24/7 and do *everything*, and I think there is also often a lot of blame (he's not a good submissive, he doesn't do what I want, he doesn't listen etc etc). Put them both together with not enough introspection and 'working as a team' and you have a big problem.

    I'm so glad to see you talking about it. And I wish you both the very best of luck sorting it out.

    Ferns

    (as an aside, your blogroll shows my last post being 1 year ago… I'd guess your feed link is the wrong one because it's been a week or so at most).

  2. I really love this post.

    It's hard on both sides. I didn't think it would be hard for him–I saw that Dom side in him, should only take a month or so for him to figure it all out. I didn't think it would be hard for me–he asks or tells and I do, what could be hard about that? It was just all so simple, nevermind the twelve previous vanilla years we spent together, of course we'll jump right in and have no problems. Turns out I can be quite the handful and he is a bit hardheaded. Finding our way through these things together have only deepened what we have, surely it will do the same for you.

    Also, how you describe yourself here, that entire paragraph, describes Daddy so well, it's kinda remarkable. Lol.

    I'm so happy you have your everything!

  3. @Ferns: Thanks for the headsup, I fixed it 🙂 It should be updating properly. I'm glad to see someone appreciates the other side of being a dominant, I know it's not often spoken of but I really think it's something important to address. I've been keeping up with your stuff as well, hope you feel better soon *hug*

    @Misty: It's definitely hard on both sides! Good to know some others have made it out to the other side mostly unscathed. Thanks for the comment!

  4. Thank you for sharing such an insightful and reflective post. I think it takes years of adjustments on the part of a Dominant to bring out the best in a submissive. By acknowledging your own strengths and weaknesses I think you're well on your way.

    Good luck!

    Diane

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