Blowjob: It’s better than no-job

Every person who takes the liberty of going down on a someone thinks that their technique needs no work. That the receiver, should be grateful that someone even went down on them. All of this is true but there’s even more. Let’s review what can be done to enhance your blowjob experience no matter your role.

So let’s dive in:

FACT

Blowjobs are a lot a work but can still be fun.

FACT

Going down on your someone is still illegal in over 10 states, so treasure your secret sexytime.

FACT

Not all blowjobs were created equal, sorry.

Now for the fun stuff. Basically a blowjob consist of two main techniques (both of which can be built upon), the suck-swallow and the deep throat. The suck-swallow is the easier of the two and the standard go-to but just because it’s easier you shouldn’t be giving anyone a yawn fest.

Remember these simple things when going down on someone:

Givers…

Breathe!

Since your mouth will be full during this activity remember to breathe through your nose. It’ll help you from gagging and needing to take frequent stops

Use Your Hands

Don’t just hang your hands at your side during a BJ, use those extra tools to help stimulate naughty bits in all the right places. But remember don’t grab dangling parts too hard (unless their into that). I try to stick to a “rolling” motion as if I were rolling out small balls of dough.

Pay Them Lip Service

It is a blowjob but don’t forget to use those lips of yours for sucking, nibbling, and of course any tongue action you can provide. This will help keep the receiver going while you give your jaw a break. Sometimes I just like looking down at the giver’s open, gap mouth.

Get Comfy

Make sure you’re in a position that gives you complete access to everything you want to touch without losing your balance. Being on your knees can be a drag after a while so perhaps put a pillow under them for comfort.

Be Creative

Blowjobs are wonderful on their own…but if you want to give someone something they’ll be sure to remember you can try different things to enhance the experience. Ice cubes, humming with them in your mouth, an Altoid. Try different things and see what you both like.

For the people that want to attempt deep throating, beware: Not all blowjobs are created equal. Meaning, not all people have the same ability (or desire!) to deep throat. The main technique of taking a cock deep is to suppress your gag reflex. If you’re unable to do this you will suck, but not literally…literally you will gag. So be prepared for this whole you practice. If you really insist on learning you can practice on a banana (don’t be upset if you don’t get it right away nor if you’re just unable to do it) or you can cheat with this trick: while going as deep as you can on phallic objects, use your hand on the shaft to simulate an extended mouth. They probably won’t even notice as pure bliss washes over them.

And receivers, don’t think you got off so easy. If you want a blowjob don’t make it difficult for blowjob givers. Sometimes you are your own demises. Be courteous and follow these tips:

Receivers…

Don’t Hold Anyone’s Head

We are going as deep as we want to. Any head pushing makes you look like an ass, unless of course the giver places your hand on the back of their head, then gently push deeper. If you feel resistance, let up.

Groom, Groom, Groom

Tame the jungle that is your pubic hair. I hate swallowing a “furball” as I’m enjoying giving a good BJ. It can t givers her off or worse cause us to instinctively chew to get it out. Ouch!

Be Squeaky Clean

I shouldn’t need to point this out, but after seeing guy after guy forget this important rule…WASH YOUR COCK! If it smells funny, is sticky, or extra dry looking…I’m probably going to head in the other direction (no pun intended). Oh, and don’t forget under those balls! Not using a bio cock? Still clean it. If I’m feeling nice I put a flavored lube on it.

Announce Your Arrival

Never cum in a anyone’s mouth without asking her. Period. I know you all get caught up in the moment but when you feel yourself getting close just say so. This isn’t a porn. Also, it’ll let the givers have the option of pulling away or taking it. Either act deserves gratitude.

Now everyone, go out and have fun sucking someone off.

And for the ultra considerate ones, here’s a recipe of my own that even you’re sure to love, to give you that extra sweet taste:

Mistress’s Super Spunk Smoothie (Take for at least 5 days straight)

• 1 cup pineapple, fresh or canned
• 1 banana, frozen
• 1 cup apple juice
• 1/2 tsp ginger
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp nutmeg
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 Tbsp honey
• Optional ingredients: 1 raw egg white, 2 Tbsp wheat germ, 2 Tbsp flax seed, 1 shot wheatgrass juice
• Blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth
• Drink immediately.
• Repeat daily for best results.

Takes about one week to go into effect. You’ll thank me later…