One would think on such a day as Valentine’s Day that you would be in a good mood; having a loving boyfriend who is mostly attentive and very caring. Especially when showering of gifts is involved. But that is not the case as I sit here with 5 male friends, all misfits of the romantic world and I watch them blatantly ignore the day’s underlying meaning…instead they come here for camaraderie…a friendly face, and possibly a hug against my well-endowed chest.
So I indulge them. I provide video games, cookies (not heart shaped), warm milk, and of course, tight hugs…
My boyfriend hardly notices that I have been mind-fucked by at least 3 of the gentlemen in the room and I like that. I like that sometimes his naivety can be passed over as trust. I love that his quiet nature sometimes screams submissive. Most of all I love that he lets me be me.
But on this day I am not as happy as one would imagine a girl, showered with gifts, receiving longing looks from her boyfriend, and being squeezed just a little too tightly should be. Instead I reminisce…
“This day 3 years ago I found my first real sexual
It was this day 3 years ago that I sat upon a thrown in a darkly lit, smoke filled S&M club and watched as half a dozen men licked my newly shined thigh-high boots. And it filled me with a pleasure I cannot convey in words.
I had protested participating in such an event. I was merely an on site Photographer who was doing a college thesis on BDSM and alternative lifestyles…I didn’t want to be on the other end of the lens. Yet, I ended up there. Maybe it was serendipity, maybe it was fate, maybe it was the thought of men worshipping my every move, or maybe it was just the $100/night that the gig offered. Whatever initially pulled me in was not what kept me coming back.
I must admit it opened a floodgate of opportunities and I have tried to take advantage of each one, holding on to their experiences like trophies…revisiting them often to keep them well polished in my mind’s eye.
With one whimper
With one boot licking
With one cry of “More please Mistress…”
With one crack of the whip
I knew I would never be the same…
I would never again be Mundane.